Monday, November 23, 2015

Crusaders Versus Cthulhu

Well, this is just incredibly cool. Artist Robert Altbauer made these awesome old-school images of Crusaders fighting Lovecraftian monsters. Very cool stuff. Check 'em all out right here.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

"Dear Dr. Laura"

Saw this on the Internet today. Absolutely priceless. 

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan, Jim.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Post-Apocalypse, 1066 AD

I'm reading a fascinating book called The Wake by Paul Kingsnorth. I'll post again when I've finished it, but for now I just wanted to gush about how enjoyable it is. I blaze through most of what I read, but I'm taking my time with this one. Partly that's because it's written in a weird sort of quasi-English that takes a bit of getting used to. After the first few chapters it all makes sense. Who needs standard spelling or punctuation? If the writer was just being coy or hip with it, I don't think I'd like it. But his odd language, word choice, spelling and so on have a direct artistic impact on what he's trying to say. This book is also a great triumph for a writer who funded and published independently, avoiding (through necessity at first) mainstream publishing channels. All in all, it's very impressive.

The narrator is a fellow named Buccmaster. He believes he has been "coesen by the eald gods" (chosen by the old gods) to take his grandfather's sword and fight back against "geeyome the frenc fuccer" (William the Conqueror) for destroying the "anglish" way of life. But, without spoiling anything, it soon becomes apparent that Buccmaster may not be the most reliable narrator. He may not even be very likable, either, as it turns out. And even though I'm only halfway through the book, I can't believe things will end well for him. But I'm enjoying the hell out of the ride.

There's a great article about the book right here. I'm jealous of the author's "writing shed" pictured in the background.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Jackasses of History Bathroom Reader

So, I wrote a book, it's out now, and you can get it right here.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

The Multiverse is Calling

Woah. And that's all I have to say about that.